Saturday, September 6, 2008

I'm quitting...(again)

Thats right,quitting smoking that is. I've probably quit at least 50 times,sad is'nt it? the truth is that I love to smoke,but it does'nt love me back. And,in keeping with my philosophy of eliminating things in my life "that which does not bless me", I'll give it one more shot. Its funny, I've noticed something about myself,and people as a whole. We hate the things about other people that we hate about ourselves,and love what we love about ourselves.That can be a very insightful thing,I "hate" people who seem to be an authority about something,but when the rubber meets the road...they're nowhere to be found. I kind of feel that way about myself,as far as the smoking thing goes.So, whats my plan? well, I don't quit without help.I'm a definite patch user.I've found that they help alot and I need all I can get.I have to avoid large meals,spicy foods,sweets,alchohol,any mechanical work,(it's busted me before) and of course,STRESS. I'm pretty good at being the observer of my life.Which is to say I remove myself from the first person,to the third person omnipresent. Observing myself,from a position thats more "detatched" and not so intensly involved. Try it sometime,it works with alot of situations you may find emotionaly too intense. I'm not saying to "check out" but to find a calmer place in your head where the big waves are'nt crashing all around you. Thats a bad place to try to deal with stress in,for me anyway. I also ask my Lord Jesus Christ to help me,he's promised to do for us that which we ask in his name,to help us in a time of struggle in which we're trying to purge our lives of sin. I really wanna give God praise this morning for the way he's had my back lately, (he's always had my back I know) but lately i've been in situations where I refused to worry about things,and trusted in him for answers. Guess what? it works...I truly serve an awesome God!! I think people are afraid to trust him, I'm guilty myself. I'm learning to lean on him more though and he's very willing to prove he's there. How neat is that? Maybe I should just forget the other "help" and lean exclusivly on him. I think that God looks for people who are counting on him for BIG things, (its big to me) and I know he wants to help all that I'll let him. I also believe that prayer works. If you should happen to read this do me one huge favor. For a couple of moments would you think about my struggle and send your good intentions? no bs...I've seen it work,and i'm a missourian (show me) so,anyway...thanks in advance,for that, I love you all.

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