What A Wonderful World

And I think to myself,what a wonderful world! I used to despise people who said stuff like that,I was a very unhappy person and couldn't stand the idea that THEY had something I didn't.I thought that having friends would solve the problem,thats how I started using drugs at age 12.I thought that relationships were what was missing,so I married the first woman who I could get to stay with me,(age 28)then after a couple of years (6) realized what a hollow sham of a relationship i had and got divorced.It wasn't until I went into therapy shortly thereafter that i realized why I was always looking for love outside of myself,and that my feelings were a direct result of how I think and therefore my responsibility.A messed up belief system is like a stinking pile of garbage on your front yard,it stinks,but you sort-of get used to it and after a while you don't really notice it except when your nostrils burn,or someone else points it out.Then you can hardly believe that you 've let this sit there on your yard for all these years stinkin up the place,so you start the work of cleaning it up.Its a nasty job,you can't just use a front-loader to scoop it up into a dumpster,it has to be done by hand.Each piece of garbage examined and condemned.Boy i'm rambling on this am,did'nt mean to tell my life story,but I hardly ever know what I'll write when I sit down.if i've piqued your interest with this story and you want to hear what happened next let me know.it's a wonderful world,(now) but I went thru years of hell!wanna talk about your years of hell? you've come to the right place...lol